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Apr
25
Tropical Survival Tip #34 (escorts)
Filed Under sex/love | Leave a Comment
So I’m working on RSS feeds when I come across this:
Biracial caramel BBW Beauty - Open to Travel
I know. Sounds almost too good to be true.
For only $1k plus travel expenses, Vee, a mixed race BBW, promises to rock your weekend in the Caribbean. I don’t know how she came up with the thousand dollar price tag. Maybe she’s charging by the pound.
In fairness, the airlines do have new weight restrictions. If you plan to stay longer with Vee the price goes up. Which is fair. No doubt she’s as good in bed as she is beautiful. Although you may have a fight on your hands for the last Dove Bar.
It could get ugly. And you want your vacation to be relaxing. So my advice is travel solo. It’s easy to meet women of color south of the border. There’s absolutely no reason to drag a girl with low blood sugar along.
A thousand dollars goes a long way in Central America, South America, and the Caribbean. For the price of a nice dinner, a couple of mojitos, and a new pair of shoes the local girls will follow you anywhere.
On the net - Craigslist
join the cult of cojito. just drink the koolaid.
Apr
19
Got Wood?
Filed Under panama girls | Leave a Comment
Every year the “miss reef international” competition is held in panama, and every year the smart money is on a sexy Colombiana. not so much because Colombians are hotter, or because they do so much better in the fellatio talent part of the the competition, but because they are the only bikini models known to carry machetes.
even with the threat of kidnapping and decapitation, two costa rican beauties, and a sexy Panamanian chica won over this year’s crowd at playa venao. delante was there to record it all. but they came away with a jumpy, out of focus mess that makes the magruder film seem like pulp fiction.
that’s why i think they all should be tarred, feathered, and driven from the city limits. here was an opportunity to document some of the finest culitos on the ithums, and it looks like delante’s man was too busy rubbing one out to focus the damn camera.
video after the leap … Read more
Mar
31
mi ranchito
Filed Under food and drink | 7 Comments
i spend most of my time drunk writing in el cangrejo, and sometimes i forget how beautiful panama can be. all it takes is a 5 or 10 minute cab ride and you’re ready to rejoin the wild.
this weekend my girl friend, her sis and i got a chance to do balboa and isla naos. that’s not exactly dodging rebels and poisonous snakes in the darien gap. but we did run into a couple of colombian hookers, and the fierce breeze ripping across isla naos almost knocked my hat off. Read more
Mar
29
Getting Married in Panama
Filed Under cheat sheet, sex/love | 7 Comments
“Getting married in Panama is easy”
that seems to be the consensus of websites topping my “how to get married in Panama” interweb search. Some of them temper the “easy” bit by adding, “provided you have all the necessary paperwork and follow the correct procedures.”
of course that’s like saying swimming lake gatun is easy, provided you’ve read up on crocodiles, and can swim really fast.
except for finding corrupt officials, growing pineapples, or getting hit by a killer bus, nothing is easy in panama. say you really are foolish enough to get married. and you’ve come all this way to meet the love of your life: a simple chola with dirty feet and scary sex drive.
this is a happy time for you. you’ve got your script for blue pills, paid off her burro, bought her mama new teeth. you’ve even remembered to bring certified and stamped court documents of your birth and divorce. now all you need is a judge or priest to say a few meaningless words at your funeral blessed union and you’re ready to pound wally pound.
not so fast pendejo. Read more
Mar
15
botanist id’s accused killer
Filed Under crime | 2 Comments
fresh details emerged today regarding the identity of an alleged killer, with a smithsonian botanist claiming the accused murderer is probably the infamous Cocos nucifera.
so far police are not sure if robbery, revenge or jealousy was the motive in the brutal killing. “well, only one branch was used to take him out. so, it could have been a professional hit,” said an official on the scene. Read more
Mar
9
my colombian killer
Filed Under sex/love | 2 Comments
i talk a lot of smack about Colombians, particularly Colombian hookers. but if you ever get to spend time with one you might find yourself intoxicated. love, lust, morbid curiosity, mortal terror, whatever you want to call it, the women of Colombia can get under your skin and stain you soul.
or at least get it all sticky. i had a relationship with a Colombiana. this was years ago, long before i went mad from syphilis. the girl had a wild temper. but i’m happy to report she did not kidnap, shoot or stab me. Read more