On The Town
I had just finished vomiting sancocho into another Marbella gutter when things suddenly got ugly.
“You wan floa mister?”
Floa? What the fuck is floa?
I wiped my burning mouth and looked up. A shabbily dressed black man with ashy skin jabbed at me with a withered rose. We were the only two people on the street.
“Floa mista,” he said.
This time he was more emphatic. And I was thinking: it’s two a.m. and he’s selling fucking flowers? What the fuck is that? He stared at me with those crazy tweaker eyes. Then he twitched, like something had gotten hold of his spine, and pushed that nasty thing back into my face.
It felt like the thorns were inches from my delicate white skin. My first thought was to call the police. You know how these chombitos are; they load up on dangerous flora, and swoop down from Curundu and Chorillo like tropical Huns. The average tourist never sees it coming.
I reached into my pocket for a dollar. But then I remembered, this is Panama, and I needed to respect the local customs. So I relieved myself on the side of a building, and told the man to fuck off.
Written by: Cojito Copyright © 2012 · All Rights Reserved · Panama After Dark
You call this an article?
lol no, i don't think i did call it an article. i think i'd call it a wry vignette.
Wry vignette. I like that. A phrase seldom used any more.
thanks. and now that i've had a chance to sleep on it, i think anonymous has come up with a better title.
was the sancocho bad or was it something else? I got a list here of some of my favorite places in PTY. I will get you to the proximities and then you need to find the exact location. This is the fun of discovering the interior areas from Campana Hill to Santa Clara. Campana Hill is on the old Road. The view from the peak is truly unfuckinbelievable, and on locally picked shroons even better. There are three water falls/swim holes. Goofy Falls which is actually in Tocumen, out past the airport. There is an old olympic cycling racing stadium from the seventies out there. You need to cross a pretty large field to get to the falls, but very worth it. There is this water fall with natural slides which dump you into a cool water swimhole maybe a ten foot drop. Rockie Falls is out just past Coronado on the mountain side of the highway 40 foot drop, 50 if you jump from the tree. Santa Clara swim hole is just off the highway before you get to the main entrance of Santa Clara, on the mountain side of the highway as well. The cliff diving at this waterhole is awsome, maybe 15 feet or so. San Carlos River is my favorite. I do not recommend you jump off the bridge unless someone can show you exactly where to land. Palmar beach just past San Carlos is a great body surfing beach. Lots of Americans live out there. The sand is extremely hot so use flipflops. The sand is half black half white. And of course I recommend a round of golf at Coronado Golf course, a massage and steam after your round followed by a meal and drinks at the clubhouse. After you experience this I would like for you to write about them. One more place you must see before it is too late, Tits Beach.
later and stop peeing on the sidewalks
something else? bad sancocho in panama? that's crazy talk rrroyo.
ah, so you've been picking shrooms? now i know why you settled in sf lol.
an excellent list. thanks man. a friend tells me san carlos is a couple of hours outside the city? does that sound right? if that's the case, i'd probably catch a bus and stay overnight. although it sounds like having a car to explore these areas would be best. if (and when) i can get there i will definitely write about my experiences.
tits beach? lol for the love of all that is holy and just – where's tits beach!?
it's 11am in panama. monday morning. i'm reading hemingway and the vodka floats on my brain like lilypads on an indiana pond in july. some day i'll end it the same way he did. but not berfore i visit that house in key west again. better to go out on your own schedule, i always say. somebody is always trying to control us, knows what's best, knows what we need, knows how to save us. i'll trace my fingertips over the soft curve that starts at a woman's waist and runs to the crest of the hip…, the smell of her skin, the gentle slope, the soft flesh of the inner thigh…i'll do that for a few more years or until fate intervenes with some hideous disease, then i'll pull the plug, but not before.
"any man's death diminishes me for i am involved in mankind; therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls…it tolls for thee…"
lol like papa? i dunno man, a shotgun blast to the face is kinda drastic. think of all those unhappy mourners weeping over your headless cadaver.
how 'bout a heart attack in a whore house instead?