Carnaval
Things heard on our battan-like death march to carnaval:
- Este carnaval presidente no sirve.
- Este carnaval es para touristas no Panamanians.
- Carnaval queda mejor en Calidonia o Via Espania.
- Nunca nunca en historia un fila como asi.
If you don’t read Spanish I’ll give you the short version. People were pissed. They believe carnival was better in the old days when it was held over on Via Espania or in Calidonia.
Alex and I live just around the corner in El Cangrejo, but it feels like we’ve hiked several miles out of our way to get to the Panama City carnaval entrance on Transistmica. For our efforts we’re rewarded with six long lines. There have been reports of gang activity, so police need to search everyone who enters.
I purchase a bottle of frozen water for $.50 and cue up with all the men. Alex goes to the woman’s line on the far left. She motions for me to watch my pockets. I yell “No te preocupe – estoy limpio.” That gets a big laugh from the lads behind me. Alex tells me later there was a pickpocket in line. He boldly snatched a wallet in front of all these machine gun wielding cops, and was quickly wrestled to the ground.
It takes about thirty more minutes in the hot sun to get through. Except for the cop who grabs my crotch during his search, the crowd is mostly chill. I’m one of a handful of light skinned faces. But I don’t feel out of place. I get a thumbs up from a large black man. “Much respect,” he says. I don’t know where this is going, so I just give him an enigmatic smile and move on.
The parade’s the usual affair; big, odd-looking floats having little to do with life in Panama (a bluish polar bear for example), smoking hot carnaval queens and princesses, and really cool tribal drummers with straw hats, umbrellas, and colorful shirts. There’s even a group that seems to be brandishing Molotov cocktails.
I could use a cocktail about now. I settle on a cold Panama instead. I decide I like the tribal drummers best. And I briefly wonder what it would be like to march with them for the day. Then I remember, I’m almost fifty, and already tired from watching them dance frenetically in the hot Panamanian sun.
I would take a few shots, but my cameras dead. Yet another reason I’m not living the glamorous life of a journalist. If you’ve watched any of the Brazilian carnaval on the telly, you might think Panama’s carnaval is the same deal. It’s not. Carnaval in Panama’s more like a block party for the city: music, cold beer, fried meats of unknown origin, women and men cruising for sex.
We’ve already missed the culecos. Earlier in the day tanker trucks lined up on the Transistmica. In many countries police use water cannons to drive away the criminal element. In Panama it’s an excuse to hang out, get drunk and wet. Trucks soak the crowd with large hoses. Music is played several decibels too loud. Hearing damage and crotch rot are a virtual certainty.
When we finally arrive home I discover Los Plumas Negras are to play tonight. I love these guys. They play musica tipica. In Panama, that’s usually an accordion accompanied by cat-like screeching. For some strange reason – it sounds really good. But maybe that’s because we’re all drunk by then.
Written by: Cojito Copyright © 2012 · All Rights Reserved · Panama After Dark
i had a brief tour through the carnaval infested streets of ocu on sunday. reminds me of an octoberfest in the the states, except that they throw water here instead of beer. mostly hormone roiled adolescents up to age 30 getting drunk and hosed (by tanker trucks) while they dance and cruise. lots of instances of 2 girls holding up one drunk guy and trying to walk him to a safe place to pass out. the girls just look hotter and sexier than usual when they get soaked and drunk. all pretty, delgada and rotating the hips seductively. too bad they all wear bras here…the wet t-shirt possibilities were infinite…
recuerdo carnaval en Bocas. Fue lo mismo como PC, pero menos personas. La vista de tres buceadores caminaron entre la muchedumbre solamente aumenta a la rareza. And, yeah, it's a young folks game. Sunstroke seems to hit we (ahem) older gentlemen much more quickly, eh?
ooh, "the wet t-shirt possibilities were infinite," that would have made for a good title marco.
lakesdiver – i have a friend who lives in bocas. she loves carnival there. i tried to go one year but the hotels were all booked up.
yeah, it's really shocking to grow old. lol i never saw it coming. i've got the mind of a 17 yr old, and the body of a 50 yr old.
you guys ever find any cool stuff when you're diving in bocas? you know, pirate booty, lead coffins, or old, half-filled rum bottles?
The only booty to be found had to do with women and the only half-filled rum bottles were in the process of being emptied by us. The cool stuff was just little critters under the sea. Not spectacular, high-voltage diving, but I found it to be a very relaxing time. Y entiendo sobre la mente/cuerpo dicotomÃa.
Any of you old guys into metal detectors? You know… combing the beaches to find the lost treasure (rolexes and cartier earings) of the touristas, buried beneath pounds of sand?
cojito — if you ever see me on the beach with a metal detector please shoot me. i'll wear a clown outfit if that makes it easier for you.
look, raul, i'll never be that old. until panama runs out of pretty girls the only thing i'll be doing on the beach is humping.
when panama runs out of pretty girls, i'll go to colombia and shoot clowns.
panama will never run out of pretty girls. but it might be fun to hunt for pirate gold. i hear it turns up every now and again.
i, too, have heard that. I've got an u/w rig. Maybe I oughta' bring that to bocas. to hell with the beach. i'll wear a clown wetsuit and troll around the bars on the waterfront. If not pirate's gold, perhaps there'd be drunkard's change.
forget the clown wet suit. after a couple rums, cojito will have you in the crosshairs…
just wear a regular wetsuit with a gold chain around your neck and the girls will fall all over you.
Off to Honduras para bucear. Look forward to reading all I missed in the next week. (and I'm taking my gold chain, too)
never been there, but i'm guessing the chain will work.
ps. personally i don't use a chain because they all love my bald head … not!
ps. you can probably wear the clown wet suit there. cojito can't go to honduras..his picture is in all the post offices. why? i could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you.
..and even if he weren't wanted there, the hondurans don't have an ugliness waiver.
Marco, you're right! Cojito's photo was on Not Wanted posters all over the county!
was it a clear view or was he wearing the groucho glasses?
hey! somebody write something! i'm getting bored. wish i were back in panama…:(
Hey raul! — what's this one from?
"driving down your freeways…midnight alleys roam…cops in cars, the topless bars..never saw a woman so alone…so alone…" (it's not the stones)
christ, i leave the country for a couple of days and panama after hours morphs into ¨name that tune.¨
see what happens when you leave your flock unattended? Next we'll be building a golden calf. get your ass back to panama and resume your full-time job as a usless pervert.