panama city panama – seeking to reverse generations of neglect and discrimination by north american retirees, an angry group of hot young latinas gathered outside the american embassy this week to demand old men start dating them, or at least use them for meaningless sex.
“why we always to ignore?” said luz 18, featured stripper at panama’s elite. “i’m to tire of fucking latin hunk. give me old white guy with man boob.”
“my turn-ons are white hair, liver spots, and the odor of death,” said sandra, age 21 of curundu.
“me encanta bald men,” gushed maria 19, of the golden palace.”donde esta mi cocobolito?”
comments like these were echoed by every young latina interviewed for this article. the reasons for their attraction remain a mystery, but one thing’s for certain, it’s not about the money.
“i to have more money than dios.” says carmen noriega. “all my sisters to have the jobs in government, and there’s still plenty of the coke buried under papi’s beach house.”
“i only strip because i like to be whore.” says 18 yr old ana “my dream is be slut for old white man. but they no to come for me.”
“their anger has been a long time in the making” explains doctor omar navarro, noted psychologist and panama city realtor. doctor navarro has treated many young panamanian women for stress, and may have several hectors of prime land to sell you in chiriqui.
“it’s so frustrating, half these girls are on valium, the others just drink to forget. it’s become endemic in panama. hard bodied latinas don’t have a fighting chance. these young hotties just want to give their time, and hard earned money to old white men. they dream of scrubbing gringo toilets, and wiping the drool from their lover’s whiskered chin.”
we asked several retirees, why the lack of interest?
“i’m turned on by sloppy white women who’d rather buy shoes than fuck.” said an unapologetic charlie 65, just off a carnival cruise ship.
“these latinas are too thin and active for me.” said ted 63 of minnisota. “i like women who claim to love walks on the beach, but really just want sit in front of the tv and gnaw on a cold pot roast.”
“i still produce enough cum to shampoo a wildebeest,” boasted one retiree from boston, who asked not to be named. “but i’m looking for a frigid woman who’s always nagging me – like my mom.”
it’s sad.” said doctor omar, ” young latinas, with smooth bronze skin, firm breasts, round bubble butts, and insatiable sexual appetites, just can’t compete with the saggy treasures found up north.
“it’s not only that,” claimed one geezer from miami. “i need to know that if it doesn’t work out, i’ll get taken to the cleaners and lose custody of my kids. and if i fall in love with a sexy latina in panama, i’m not sure that will happen.”