blogging the visa run
i´m in san jose costa rica renewing my visa. i tried to log on, and post some of my wildly entertaining experiences last night. but the hotel computer room was filled with giggling frat boys writing their girlfriends.
dear susie,
you should see the peasants here. fuck, they´re ugly. lol
i could forgive them if they were busy banging hookers. at this time last year i had already enjoyed the sounds of two call girls moaning in the next room. this year nothing. just room after room of sleepy gringos.
this computer´s crashed twice already. it´s a hyundai. nothing but the best for visitors to costa rica. the fuckin keyboard is in some strange language. french maybe. you need to hit three keys simultaneously, then chant over a dead Nicaraguan to make a question mark appear. no spell check either. all this for $2 an hour. i might as well be living in the dark ages.
i´ll be staying at the dunn inn for a week. i´m going to make the rounds, maybe enter a no limit holdem tournament. alex says it´s ok if i pick up some whores. i´m too poor for that. whoring in san jose is not cheap. but if i can find a decent computer i´ll write something up.
update! half brother raul writes: repeat after me, i am not a peasant, i will not live like a peasant!
in light raul´s sage advice, i will rethink picking up a hooker while i´m in costa rica.
Written by: Cojito Copyright © 2012 · All Rights Reserved · Panama After Dark
Mercury shooting though every degree
Roam if you want to,
Roam around the World.
Roam if you want to.
Without wings, without wheels,
Roam if you want to,
Roam around the World.
Roam if you want to.
Without anything but the love we feel.
(with apologies to the B-52's. Shit – you already ahve enough royalties.)
Patriccio
go patriccio! you and i can keep this fucking blog going until cojito drags his sorry ass back into panama.
well i woke up this mornin' and i got myself a beer…
well i woke up this mornin' and i got myself a beer…
the future's uncertain and the end's already near… (Doors Roadhouse blues – i'd apologize to Jim Morrison but his end was nearer than he thought.)
one more from him — this could have been written for those pretty colombian hookers in Panama City:
"are you a lucky little girl in the city of light? …or just another lost angel…in the city of night? (L.A. Woman)
It seems silly to have to drag your ass all the way to Costa Rica just to satisfy some silly Panamanian immigration law. But that's Panama.
They're big on stamps and protocol and henhouse horseshit. Shit, doing anything in a Panamanian bank is a mind-bending bummer that will consume at least 3 hours. The last time I went to a bank there, they actually had some gal walking around with a tray of complementary pastries…
I've only been to Costa Rica once – and Cojito is right when he says the hookers are overpriced. They're mainly saggy-assed chicks in their 30's who I wouldn't fuck with a stolen dick.
The computer keyboards they use in Latin America are just confusing as hell. Just try finding this symbol – @. Every fucking e-mail address known to man requires it: fuckstain@yahoo.com, but those swarthy bastards down south hide this critical symbol like it was gold.
Patriccio
Marcopolo,
Yes, jim morrison and the Doors are safely enshrined in the Pantheon of Rock bands that kicked serious ass.
Indeed, a cold beverage with a twist of lime in the morning is bracing.
I can't believe those Brit Sailors were taken hostage. Ya see, that's what I did in the Navy. I was the coxswain of the RHIB boat (rigid hulled inflatable boat), and I performed hundreds of board and searches in the Persian Gulf (2 six month tours).
Everyone on the team, including myself, was armed with 9mm Baretta pistols, body armor and kevlar helmets. At least 4 team members had M-16's or H+K machine guns.
Whenever an unknown radar contact was approaching, the ship's CIC (combat information center), would inform us immediately. The ship would swing into a defensive posture and go to General Quarters. They would man all the gun mounts, so by the team those Iranians got there, they'd be looking at a 20mm chain gun, a 5 inch rapid fire cannon and a 75mm gun. Plus, we had standard and Harpoon missiles and the close-in weapons system. The ship would close in and the Iranians would leave when we locked them up with our fire-direction radars.
There is no way in hell I would have allowed my team to be taken captive. We may have gotten blown up or shot to shit, but whoever assaulted us would be blown to bits. We had a lot of tense moments with Iranian gunboats, but they had no desire to commit suicide.
Those Brits were operating in the Shat-al-Arab, which is a fucking river leading to the Gulf. The frigate can't follow you there because its too shallow. We never operated there just because of that. Stupid. If you can't protect your assets, you don't go there.
So now we have an international incident with the Iranians playing propoganda games with their captives…
This could ignite the World. And the dumbass Brit Captain should be court-martialed.
Patriccio
patriccio – that´s funny. i don´t want to know what´s making these keyboard keys stick. and i still can´t figure out how to make that symbol appear. i finally had to copy and paste it so i could check my mail.
before i could stay 6 months in panama on a tourist visa. now i stay for 3 months, and then they allow me another 45 days. when i go, i drop a grand in costa rica easy. i´d rather spend that money in panama.
hookers punch in early in costa rica. i was in the blue marlin yesterday morning, about 9:30 am, and i´d say there were at least 60 hookers hanging around.
Cojito,
Glad to hear the border banditos haven't ravaged your ass.
Yeah, that keyboard thing is a bitch. When I was in the military, we always loved this tune:
The Rooster
Aint found a way to kill me yet.
Eyes burn with stinging sweat.
Seems every path leads me to nowhere.
Wife and kids, household pet,
Army green was no safe bet.
The bullets scream to me from somewhere.
Here they come to snuff the rooster.
Yeah, here come the rooster, yeah.
You know he aint gonna die.
No, no, no, ya know he aint gonna die.
Walking tall, machine gun man,
They spit on me in my home land.
Gloria sent me pictures of my boy.
Got my pills against mosquito death.
My buddy’s breathing his dying breath.
Oh God, please, won’t you help me make it through.
Here they come to snuff the rooster.
Yeah here come the rooster, yeah.
You know he aint gonna die.
No, no, no, ya know he aint gonna die.
patriccio-
here is the opinion of a vietnam vet for what it's worth. the brit captain was sent into that river. it's simply part of a well-orchestrated plan to provoke the iranians so an invasion can be launched. (gulf of Tonkin incident).
you'll probably lose a few more of your friends before the world is "safe for democracy" this time around.
Sorry to be a cynic, but i've got history on my side…
one more and then i'll shut up. this just came in:
"MSNBC Breaking News: Bush says Iran's capture of U.K. sailors 'inexcusable,' demands their release"…how convenient…
Marcopolo,
I don't buy it. There's always air support. We carried 2 Seahawk helicopters armed with machine guns and missiles. Those birds always shadowed us and usually led us to suspect ships. We almost always had one bird in the air. That's why I was always so damn tired: Flight Quarters.
The Americans and the Brits are painfully aware of what happened way back in the 70's when those fucking Iranians invaded our Embassy and took our people hostage for 444 days.
Do you honestly suggest we would sacrifice our people for an excuse for war? Nope. Way wrong.
This administration has demonstrated that it needs little if any reason to attack.
We put our service members into harm's way all the time. But we don't need to sacrifice them. The Iranians were looking for a bargaining chip and they found it.
The dumbass Brits failed to follow the rules – which state you protect your people at all costs.
Patriccio
believe what you want, young man. there is no such thing as an "iranian" and there is no such thing as an "american". Every country has a government, the scum floats to the top of the pond and uses us for it's own gain. we are "americans" when thy need canon fodder.
Let's maintain our friendship and drop it.
Young man? Hmmm. I haven't been called that for many years… I'm not a young man.
I'm as cynical and conspiracy-minded as the next man. I understand and reject your hypothesis. I'm not saying it isn't possible – I just don't see any proof and I'm not one to jump to conclusions.
Friends? Sure.
"If all mankind minus one were of one mind, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
John Stuart Mills, On Liberty
"He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from opposition for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself."
Thomas Paine-Disertation on first principles of government.
None are so blind as those who will not see.
Some smart ass.
freddie-
Great quotes from great libertarians. you may enjoy this libertarian website:
http://www.lewrockwell.com
You're a Coxswain.
Why does that not surprise me?
who's a coxswain?
Enough of the egalitarian/commie moral equivicator bullshit. Can we please get back to talking about hookers???
Bro– Shopping at the Del Rey is like buying retail: Friends don't let friends do it.
Zona Blue will run you (so I've been told) about $40. Very nice facility in Barrio Amon. Some of the others in Paseo Colon go for about $20-$25. Quality will vary, but sometimes you can find some pretty ones. So I've been told, by my more whore-mongeringly, degenerate friends.
LOL at the Man complaining about sticky keyboards that don't allow for proper punctuation, when his own blog doesn't permit capitalization.
Fuck ee cummings. Grow a capitol letter, for chrissakes.
OK Raul, seein' as how you asked soooo nicely.
She came flyin' 'round the mountain
doin' 90 mile an hour
when the chain on her bicycle broke
and the found her in the grass
with a sprocket up her ass
and her tits playin' dixey on the spokes.
I know, I know, it's "dixie", I just didn't want to piss off any rednecks what by usin' all them 'postrophies, while speakin' 'bou mountain folk.
raul – i return to panama city, and now you're telling me about zona blue? bastard, i could have used that info last week. i was staying in barrio amon.
the competition's fierce at the blue marlin. when i was there there were only a handful of guys, and it felt like hundreds of girls. the girls i met were asking for $100.
Yeah– that's always their opening bid. Cien.
I did some marketing consulting for the guy who runs CostaRicaTicas.com. That site will teach you everything you need to know. ;)
Raul,
A coxswain is the person in charge of a boat. It's a very old and venerable nautical term and has nothing to do with sex.
patriccio – i think that for raul and cojito everthing has something to do with sex :)