my friends say they’re bringing me guaro from central america - what the hell is guaro?
well, they could be returning with a very talkative parrot. but it’s more likely your friends are bringing you the industrial strength beverage enjoyed by alcoholic peasants from all over central america.
guaro, aka aguardiente, or burning water, is likely to be the force behind most central american fiestas, and more than a few wife beatings. unlike fine rum, also made from sugar cane, guaro tastes like crap straight-up. however, it’s good with a mixer. i like it with fresca over ice.
guaro’s inexpensive, which explains its popularity among farmers and natives, and why your cheap-ass friends are bringing some back for you. it’s said the name derives from the guaro indians. you can find a bottle of cacique ( or indian chief ) just about anywhere in central america.
but i prefer to believe guaro’s named after the parrots of central america. i have to say this. most of my guaro-binge was spent arguing with the belligerent throng of birds that line the beach at mal pais. tico parrots can be so persuasive when i’m drinking.
i don’t know any Panamanians who drink guaro. but it’s rumored to be popular with natives, campesinos, and the marginalized peoples. like marijuana in the states, guaro’s used as bonding ritual, and as a means of escaping the soul-sucking reality of being poor.
guaro’s a big part of tico culture - kinda like stealing. and i like to think it was during my wretched hangover in mal pais that i finally understood what it means to be tico. if you want to connect with the average costa rican you’ll need to let go of your inhibitions, and give guaro a go.
don’t be afraid. if you were in mexico you’d drink tequila. in nicaragua you’d sample the flor de cana. in colombia you’d snort several lines of coke. in the u.s you’d super-size a happy meal before going home to catch idol on tv. when in rome.
while it’s true your friends don’t have the most expensive tastes in gifts, i think you should try guaro at least once. not because the drink’s anything special, it’s not. or because you owe it to your friends, you don’t. but because the morning after drinking guaro you will come to understand real pain. and the rest of your existence will be put into a sharper perspective.
cojito or who ever—Do you know of a “on line”site that will give me some ideas about apartment rentals in Congrejo ? I’ve seen some crazy price ranges. I’m looking for 1or2 br in secure clean bldg. Do,nt need social ammenities, although a pool would be nice.Need to have internet connection.Any suggestions
Comment by todbals — May 9, 2007 @ 8:58 pm
i don’t know of a really good site that i trust. and no one’s paying me to recommend them. the problem in panama is there’s no mls. so it’s not easy to find rentals or property to buy. you have to hunt around for what you need. both online and in person. either that, or you need to pay someone to do your legwork for you.
i’m a diy guy. i found my flat after several weeks of hiking around the city. i walked out of several r.e offices because they wouldn’t show me what i wanted. all the while i was staying in a cheap hotel.
in my case they assumed/insisted i wanted to live in a chi chi building. but the newer buildings, with pools, cable/internet, furnishings, security, etc, are not going to be your cheapest or most interesting options.
Comment by cojito — May 9, 2007 @ 10:40 pm
cojito: thank you for the “heads up”
Comment by todbals — May 10, 2007 @ 7:43 am
I use La Prensa or compreoalquile.com to hunt. Still… the best way is to just walk around looking for signs or asking people that live in a building. I am hunting myself right now. My landlady says RE people are telling her she can get a lot more money from extranjeros than from we locals so we are OUT by the end of the month. Good luck finding one in El Cangrejo. I will most likely have to leave because of the rising rental prices.
Comment by vieja — May 10, 2007 @ 11:10 am
The aguardente that I have tried, comes from Colombia.
It was like a licorace flavored schnapps, clear in color… I think I mixed it with pineapple juice to disguise the taste.
I would guess it would be best sipped on the rocks…
Now what I really like to drink in Panama (besides my favorite cerveza, “Panama”), is Appletons rum. If you haven’t tried it, try it sometime… The cheap $6.10 a liter stuff is good mixed like any rum mixed drink, or on the rocks. Tasty and smooth. They also have the high falooting ‘Estate’ version that has been aged… a little more of the smoky flavor.
Now as everyone knows, Seco Herrano is the preferred beverage of drunks everywhere in Panama. a low octane (35%) everclear style beverage. Use it to replace vodka or gin in a mixed drink, or just mix it with Fresca… It is around 4 bucks a liter, and available everywhere.
I will have to ask my tico neighbors about their “guaro”.
In ChiriquÃ, the liquor of choice seems the locally produced Carta Vieja. It tastes as bad as that other Panamanian rotgut, Ron Cortes, the one all those old zonies always seem to rave about. Well it is a little better than sterno, but not much…
Comment by panamareg — May 10, 2007 @ 12:20 pm
I spoke with a middle-aged, working class Tica about a year ago, at a bar.
She told me that Guaro used to be widely drunk, because it was cheap and was thus the campesinos’ drink of choice. However, Guaro has seen a stellar increase in popularity, and thus price, and this has made it less popular– as you can buy it for about the same price as you can other cheap-ass liquors.
Personally, I prefer Amaretto. Does that make me gay?
Comment by Raul — May 10, 2007 @ 4:30 pm
panamareg, somehow I can’t picture you drinking anything but beer.
Comment by vieja — May 10, 2007 @ 5:43 pm
panamareg - appletons is good? i’ll have to try it. you know i see seco sold everywhere, but i still haven’t picked any up. perhaps i should. you know, in the name of research.
raul - must be the marketing. i hear they started importing guaro into states, lol and that it won some kind of award. and if you have to ask if amaretto makes you gay, you probably are. lol not that there’s anything wrong with that.
vieja - how goes the house hunt? i’d offer you a room at casa cojito, but when i finally finish the rehab, i’m going to try and rent for more than the $400 a month you claim to live on.
Comment by cojito — May 10, 2007 @ 9:37 pm
“give guaro a go” Nice alliterative phrasing.
Comment by lakesdiver — May 11, 2007 @ 8:45 am
cojito, you haven’t tried seco? I have smelled it but only consumed it once. During tunas, in a very small town in Los Santos, during carnaval, while atempting to sing with them. I was told I must take shots of this from time to time for the throat or I would not make it until dawn. So she poured me a shot in the little paper cup, slammed it down as I was told, and immediately felt what was like fire heading down to my gut. They laughed at me so much but I told them that was my one and only.
Comment by vieja — May 11, 2007 @ 9:28 am
vieja - lol impressive. i know i’d need a lot more than one shot of seco if i had to sing at carneval.
lakesdiver - unintentional. i don’t bother with that anymore. lol pearls before swine.
Comment by cojito — May 11, 2007 @ 12:51 pm
cojito, after much searching it has been found. Vieja and la otra vieja have found each other and an apartment owned by yet another vieja. If all goes well our bachelorette pad will be ready to move into by the 20th. Oh, and panamareg, no reply to my comment? I thought surely you knew who I was but maybe you pretend not to know me?
Comment by vieja — May 14, 2007 @ 2:43 pm
vieja
llama me sobre lo de las fotos. puedo hacer las esta semana si tu quieres.
Comment by marcopolo — May 14, 2007 @ 3:45 pm
Vieja,
You should know me well enough by now to now I keep most of my information confidential.
Unless directly asked by someone who knows the exact questions to ask.
I do love my cerveza Panama, but then I also love margaritas, and know how to make them from scratch. I also can do a little magic with mixing some pussy drinks… You know the ones guys feed women when they want to stealth them with liquor so they can score the…
So anyway, I am flying in Saturday, then off to my mountain-top castle, where I have my well stocked bar, fruit trees, and ice machine.
I purchased a new lot down by the balnerio, I will get it fenced this time.
Cojito, have you tried the Appletons yet?
Comment by panamareg — May 15, 2007 @ 5:26 pm