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Jun
13
on the road
Filed Under Immigration |
What is the feeling when you’re driving away from people, and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it’s the too huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies. Jack Kerouac.
i’m almost set to leave panama. another couple of weeks and i’m gone. and thanks to Ruben blades’ recent comments in la critica i could be leaving one step ahead an angry mob.
this week blades, the man charged with luring tourists to panama, finally spoke up about the new changes to immigration. first, he denied the 30 day rule existed. then he said, Advirtió que “personas inescrupulosas” se están dando a la tarea de circular rumores a través de Internet para hacerle daño al paÃs.
that’s right, ruben blades blames us for being unhappy, and speaking out; calling us unscrupulous people, out to damage the country circulating rumors via the Internet. has everyone gone mad? is this the man i suggested should be president of panama?
i haven’t felt this betrayed since i found out captain kirk wore a girdle.
one would think an artist, who fled oppression in his home country, to make millions in the u.s, would have a different take on gringos, and free speech. but this is panama. and blades’ commentary illustrates just how dysfunctional panama’s leadership has become.
to read more about the 30 day visa law blades claims doesn’t exist, check out panama lawyer Alvaro Aguilar’s blog.
to all this my girlfriend alex says, “todo es plata aqui. la ley es para los pobres. si tu tienes plata pasa nada.” sure, alex may be right. perhaps gringos should just shut-the-fuck-up and pay. but what she really means is that i should stop whining, find a lawyer, pay the damn money, and marry her.
for the short term, i’m going to do what i always do when i see an angry mob, run. at first, i thought i’d just slip across the border on the back of a burro. but it’s not easy to book a panama burro in high season; they’re all so busy with proms, coffee and cocaine shipments.
this led me to do some research on a less tested route, air travel. American Airlines used to be the king of the cheap fare to panama city panama. last year i was finding fares that began at $370 round trip between boston and panama. for the perpetual tourist, it was a sweet deal.
it’s interesting how so many things have changed in such a short time. this year that same flight costs $639. this year the Panamanian government will only guarantee me 30 days. this year, i can be sued, or jailed for what i write. this year alex is angry, sick, and hurt. this year ruben blades thinks people like me are a threat to the nation.
it makes me long for the good old days of readily available burros, and discount air fares to panama. a time when panama had a si se puede, gringo-friendly government, renewable 90 day tourist visa, and the streets were thick with happy monkeys, and $5 whores.
and it makes me long for the road.
bonus tip - its over $150 cheaper to fly in and out of costa rica, a country that still welcomes tourists with renewable 90 tourist visas.
join the cult of cojito. just drink the koolaid.
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I think you’re making a mistake another mistake by looking toward Costa Rica as the answer to your problems. You’re jumping from the frying pan to the fire.
cojito:
I agree with raul.From what I read CR is definitely not the answer. I read yesterday about a Govt progran which gives permanent residency to folks like yourself who do’nt qualify for a pensionado visa because of not having the $600 a month proven income.i.e. social security etc.I do’nt recall what this program was called but if I were you I would certainly check it out.
Rubin Blades was not talking about you ,he was referring to Ornstein and as I understand it took a copy of Noriegaville News to the Pres himself. Ornstein has most likely brought some unwanted scrutiny to himself which he certainly can’t afford.
Todbals
Have you considered Honduras. La Ceiba’s a nice little town. Cheap, too.
raul - not really considering costa rica. just pointing out to my readers that their visa rules are more lax.
todbals - lol poor okke. he takes all the shit. i wrote the same article whining about immigration 3 times now. in fact, i published my angry article before noriegaville. blades may not be talking about me directly, but he’s still talking about people like me.
where’d you read about the new residency program?
lakesdiver - i’ll check la ceiba out. lol what are the immigration rules for honduras. and can i write what i want without getting sued or thrown in jail?
cojito -
If you plan to stay in Honduras more than 30 days, you must pay to have your visa renewed. The fee for visa renewal keeps rising. The current fee is: L 400 (Lempiras [$21]) per person per month.
Visitors that do not have residency must leave Honduras every 90 days for three days (as of Mar 07 ) or pay a substantial fee to waive the requirement. [don’t know how much]
As to writing whatever, no idea. Just use your alias. There is high-speed internet.
Just a “plan c” to keep in your back pocket.
Cojito:
I found the info about alternative residency programs on yesterdays Panama-Guide
Todbals
i emailed you a very good article on the motives behind the visa change from retirementwave.com. why don’t you comment on it?
Cojito,I hope this all turns out better.
At least you still have your sense
of hummor. Capt. Kirk wore a girdle LOL.
At least he nailed some strange space babes.
I hope you still write and keep this site
going cojito.
thanks tmc55, you’re very kind to say that. lol have you been drinking?
no worries - i can’t stop writing now. my plan is to keep hacking away until i can sell panama after hours for an obscene amount of money.
then i’ll invest the cash in a mexican whorehouse.
or maybe i’ll just open an ira.
Understand completely. I sure hope you keep it up wherever you land…I don’t want to be deprived and will (virtually) follow you wherever you go.
I literally follow in your footsteps with an exit, but since I have a dog, the logistics take a bit longer to execute (pun only figuratively intended) than a girlfriend. But at least I can take my bitch with me.
I personally know of 32 expats on their way out…and I’m not very social! Some are selling, some are trying to rent to the now non-existant tenants and others, like me, are breaking leases leaving countless landlords without that needed income or, again, the ability to find a new tenant without at least suffering financially while they wait and hope it picks up.
I don’t care how logical any explanation is, it will not change the fact that A.) This is going to deprive the economy of BASTANTE gringo dollars and B.) The word is out now that Panama is only gringo friendly to the rich…something we’re very accustomed to in the US, so why move to a foreign country for more of the same? This one’s gonna hurt you (Panama) more than it’s gonna hurt me.
Quick question: As I have posted in the past, I am traveling to South Am in sept. My travel partner and I had planed to make panama the fist stop in a year long exploration of South Am. We are each looking for a place out side the USA to call home. at first panama seemed quite a nice place… we planed to hang out there for a couple of months to get a feel for the place check out business ops property etc….Now with this new visa thing … the plan is to stay for 2 weeks just to see the place and then blow for friendlier landscapes….or skip Panama all together..we’re not sure yet… and just to add my 2 cents, this whole new visa thing, from a guy on the outside looking in,… seems a little unfriendly to me….No, a lot unfriendly…cause I’ve also learned about some new shots requirement?…and HIV test??? is that right? and, it’s not a given that you get an extention on your 30 days… they could turn you down just cause you look funny….
But my question is….we were going to buy a one way tickets to panama… then pick up another ticket to our next destination (Peru) in panama… should we even start there now? could we even do that with this new visa thing in place?
me2 - lol what? i had to leave panama to get you to comment on my site?
you know, there are times i ask myself - wtf am i doing? a writer? in panama? are you crazy? but then someone like you writes telling me how much they enjoy panama after hours. and i think, well, maybe they’re crazy too.
as always, thanks for your support. are you leaving for good?
i’m buying a rt trip ticket (it’s cheaper) and will probably be back in a month or two. after that, if the gov hasn’t come to their senses, i’ll sell the flat. with luck, before the market tanks.
yeahdogg - you can’t buy one-way tickets to panama. i know, i’ve tried. what i had to do was buy a refundable return ticket. then when i hit panama i cashed it in. you might be able to avoid this by buying an onward ticket to Peru in advance. talk to the airlines.
lots of things have been talked about. but so far you don’t need any shots or tests.
yeahdogg;
Shots are not mandatory, but it’s a damned good idea to at least get the Hepatitis A & B, and if your tetanus isn’t up to date well I guess it’s your decision, but in the area of health I believe it’s better safe than sorry. You know a yellow fever shot is easier to get over than yellow fever, etc.
i’m only recommending a shot of rum. it’ll cure anything.
I’ve done extensive research on expatriating, to try to find a less expensive existence, but still have the finer things in life.
If you can stomach the long distance back to the States, I’d highly recommend Valparaiso, Chile. And Montevideo, Uruguay. (Although the bureacracy in Uruguay is much like Panama and Costa Rica).
There’s only two problems:
1. Like I said– it’s far.
2. You’re still at the mercy of a Latin American government.
For me, the answer has been to re-establish a home base in the States, and then use extended travel as more of a diversion.
i’ve always wanted to go to valparaiso. like you say, it’s far. but then, so’s Thailand, and i’d like to go there too.
as for a home base, i thought it was panama. but, i’m going to keep my options open. i could go north, or south, or i could stay here.
sorry dude we’ll miss ya.
yo you can buy rt ticket san jose to miami for for 158 bucks on american airlines leaving june 19 return a week later..cheaper than one way from panama city..from there anywhere you want to go 99 bucks to boston on the DOG
Miami to Boston via the cojito chaser. That’d be the bus trip from hell, think of all the major cities you have to stop and maybe change busses in. It’d cost you $10,000 in rehab to get right again not to mention the message parlor bills.
Cojito,
OK, so don’t marry her. I’ve read your lame rationalizations and feeble excuses. Just move on.
Move on to other adventures and wild and crazy women. Maybe there’s some babe in Equador or Colombia who craves a Gringo like you.
Here’s the thing - feelings and emotion come into play. Can you cut your girlfriend loose so easily? Can you live with your conscience? Can you say “sorry, babe, It just didn’t work out?”.
Ah me, affairs of the heart.
It bothers me that you would abandon a lady you have supposedly cared about. So what if she can’t have children?
Go back to Boston, you dilettante and hack of a writer. Find solace in the arms of some rich divorcee.
When faced with a situation like yours a real man stands and fights - instead of slinking away like a mongrel.
If you go back to the USA It will be tough to deal with AW women after having been in Latina
Paradise…..yeah man, take the money from the flat and invest in a nice little whorehouse.
Looking forward to hearing about your future endevours hehehehe…..Your writing style is
Exellente.
So many jumping ship so fast in Panama? Hard to understand if you understand latin america AT ALL? The only constant in these countries is change. WHerever you go…there you are. You will have the same issue anywhere you go. Even foreigners in the US of A face the constantly changing faces of immigration, federal policies changing every 4 years, visas and entries only allowed for those with education and money. Why should Panama be any different? I doubt you will find the grass any greener anywheres else right now in ANY latin country for sure. ANd the USA? What an ugly state of affairs our country is in right now. You want to walk back into the middle of all that? God bless you…AND the USA. But good luck being happy. 80% of the people back there who can afford it are in therapy for their misplaced lives and values. Yea…I wanna run back there all right…NOT!
tman — i am with you but nobody wants to listen. thanks for a voice of sanity.
Patriccio - is there a “babe in Equador or Colombia who craves a Gringo like me?” probably not.
Can i “cut my girlfriend loose so easily?” no. of course not. i’ve never said that i could, or would abandon her. just said i wasn’t ready for marriage, and that i might have to sell my apartment in panama.
alex is upset because i’m not ready to marry, and every man she has ever known has abandoned her. starting with her father. lol actually, i don’t abandon my girlfriends (or ex-wife) - they abandon me.
an inability to have kids is just one of my “lame rationalizations and feeble excuses.” really, not everything ends up in panama after hours.
but you know, men and women reject each other day for much less. not everyone is a suitable life-partner. not sure of your point really. fight? for what exactly?
real men exist only in john wayne movies. the rest of us live in the real wold.
tman - i don’t disagree with anything you say. i’m not jumping ship. my visa says i have to leave. so i’m leaving. but i’m taking a wait and see posture. i’ll be back in a month or 2.
what i have said is, if panama continues on its bent penis path, then i’ll go.
Hey cojito. I’ve been reading your site on and off and even though your packing your backs I sure hope the Panamanian govt will come to their senses and u turn in this ridiculous plan. In Thailand, where I have lived since 2001, the government has also done a hell of a job chasing long term residents out of the country by implementing stricter visa runs.There’s one difference though. If you have a degree (BA) in any field you can teach English at Thai schools.Most schools,take care of all the paperwork, like workpermit and workvisa. No visa runs, none of that crap. I even pay income tax!! Salaries at schools are modest, around a thousand US dollars a month,after tax, and that’s more than enough to live comfortably.Thailand is a wonderful country. Oh and did I mention the three months paid holidays a year?
cojito…if you have to take an exit or break from Panama…this is probably a good time. I do think you will find this policy changed sometime this summmer. But meanwhile, this time of year is the best climate wise to be in USA…midwest or Boston…though it can get stickier and hotter than Panama during the summer. Enjoy…and keep an eye on Panama politics. Change is in the air again. Interesting times…but not time to completely throw in the towel yet…
I just don’t see it. Even if they do change it in 9 months… what are you going to do? Disrupt your life every 30 days and spend 72 hours (plus airport time) in Costa Rica, until then?
That’s no way to live. Especially since there’s no guarantee that anything will be changed back. It’s living on a wing and a prayer.
And say they do change it back? For how long? A year, before they start jerking you around, again?
Lets face it…there are many ways to get legit residency here if you really want to stay here. Retiree status is easy for most…with tons of discounts to go along with it. Its not ALL negative here in Panama. The biggest concern I have is for the real estate and investment momentum. That is where billions can be lost…and it will hurt the poor of Panama more than the rich in the long run. Since there is so much money and momentum to be lost…that is why there is already mucho fireworks in the whole country about this agenda. It will get corrected…sooner or later. As for me…I’m waiting it out. Its part of living in these banana republics. Gotta take the bad with the good. We’ll miss some of you…
raul - i play poker. i’m a patient man. but i’m also a poor man. if my choices are pay big $$, or stay only 30 days at a time, i will sell my flat and go.
tman - no, it’s not all bad. i love panama. i’d like to stay. but people are angry and unsettled. they don’t feel welcome.
if the gov hears all this, and corrects the problem, then it will have been worth it. free speech and democracy in action. if they don’t, lesson learned. that momentum you talk about will be lost.
Blades is now saying everywhere that he meant N’ville with his remarks. Don’t know why el ministro plastico insists on picking on me, also because he hasn’t had the balls to contact me directly.
Anyway, I won’t be in Panama that much longer either. Really tired of the hostile and provincial environment here. No less than 38 journalists are facing criminal libel bullshit charges in this wacky theme park.
okke - you too? that sucks.
i think you should stay. if for no other reason than it will piss winner off. you go, and he’s the happiest man in panama.
at least keep noriegaville alive. you can write from another country. and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re making his life a living hell.
I want to personally thank Okke right here..
Okke, i had read your site very sporadically over the past year or so. for some damn unexplained reason, i started reading your exemplary website again right at the beginning of april and thank god I did!
people can say whatever they want. fuck ‘em. maybe cojito here is also to be commended for uncovering this smelly pile of shit but i just found this place.. I was absolutely kicked in the nuts when we actually read the legislation (had to translate it-I don’t know enough spanish yet) and could not believe what I was reading! We immediately went to plan b. Along the way, over the past 2 months, we have witnessed increased police presence, immigration officials with shitty attitudes, roadblocks, sickeningly huge increases for traffic fines (on par with the US!), reduction of tourist visa terms etc.. we know all this now.
however, had I not for some reason, logged back onto your site, I may still be in the dark or at least not as far along as we are in our exodus. we are not chickenshits but we are a bit too old to fight. problems can be solved by plowing straight through, going around ‘em, or turning a blind eye. We chose #2 and thank you most sincerely for having the guts & conscience expose the ugly truth here.
best regards,
mr. w