are you a maid wondering what to do now that your boss has knocked you up?

girls, do you have unprotected sex with any guy who buys you dinner, new sketchers, and offers you $5 cab fare home?

men, do you boast of all the women you’ve knocked-up, while remaining unemployed, and living with you mom?

if you answered yes to any of these questions then you need our help!

consider this: according to a respected british newspaper, babies are big money in central america. in Guatemala for example, babies rank just below bananas in the national economy.

what does that mean to you? it means there’s still time to get in on the Panamanian business opportunity of a lifetime.

you do the humping, we do the dumping!

many of you are at home right now, probably watching telenova, and wondering how you’re going to feed and cloth the whelp in the next room. no, i’m not talking about your husband girls.

maybe you plan to marry sell your body to some crusty ol’ gringo. well ladies, that banana boat has sailed. stretch marks, saggy teats, and mewling children are a big turn off to the average gringo in search of his soul mate: any young stripper with a heart of gold.

hell, even Canadians won’t touch you, and they’re notoriously hard up. but if you follow our simple plan you could end up cashing in, and ridding yourself of a growing problem. think of it, cold hard cash in your pocket - just in time for Christmas!

you can always have more!

the dirty little secret of the adoption industry is that kids are a renewable resource. there’s always another gringo do-gooder, like angelina jolie, ready to spirit away as many of the little bastards as she and brad pitt can carry.

Madonna, for example, still hasn’t added any Panamanian infants to her impressive collection. think of it, you ugly little baby, rich, on the tv, and hounded by the paparazzi!

face it my friends, we’re all just living in a material world. so if you’re looking to participate in panama’s growing economy, continue to have all the unprotected sex you can handle, while you wait for the right gringo to come along and save you, this is the biz for you.

for a limited time we’re offering:

$750. for dark-skinned babies.

$2000. for light-skinned babies.

please, no chinos.

infants should be in good health, clean, under two years of age, highly motivated, and willing to sign, or mark a consent form. consent is key, as none of us wants to be a part of anything unethical.

get started now.

anyone looking for quick cash should contact the adoption division of panama after hours. you can drop your babies during the hours of 12-1. our offices are located in el cangrejo next to the oasis whore house.

lllama ya!

faqs:

ay no - i can no bring mi bebe for the hour 12-1, that when i to watch la loteria.

tranquila - there’s a drop box if you get here late.

i don’t ave the taxi money. and bus no go up via veneto. can i to sen mi bebe en the mail?

claro. please use bubble wrap, and remember to slather the infant with lotion. we cannot accept chafing babies at this time.

on the net - the telegraph