we don’t need another hero

9/24 - both panama and the u.s. were snubbed this week, when it was announced that mad max star mel gibson will be selling his palatial homes in California and Connecticut, and taking his tribe to a wasteland known as the guanacaste province.

no doubt ticos are thrilled to have him. it’s said mel has already dropped $26 million into his feral estate on Costa Rica’s northern Pacific coast, and donated big money to the arias government.

that means all he needs to do is hire a couple of hot, $200 a month maids and he’s good to go.

brain drain?

first madonna moves to england, then paris hilton announces she’s off the africa to minister to the poor. and now mel. why is it the best and brightest are never content to stay home?

to be sure the stakes are high, but the move makes perfect sense. mel’s a traditional catholic, and costa rica is a traditional catholic country. he’s skeptical of the holocaust body count, and for years nazi’s have called latin america home.

lets not forget mel’s a confirmed alcoholic, and costa rica’s campesino culture revolves around guaro. one has to marvel at the cunning. no paparazzi to harass his family, no cops to pull him over as he careens shit-faced down the dusty roads of costa rica in his bullet proof hummer.

or maybe he’ll buy a used volvo. the point is, Mel is box office gold in the states, but ironically he’s been at war with pop culture for a long time. it’s 2007, and mel’s still got issues with gays? still clinging to anti-Semitic beliefs? still buying into the catholic faith?

well, i say so what? who am i to judge the man who’s made some of my favorite flicks. i like mel. so he doesn’t get on with darwin, Jews and gays. we’ve all got our issues. I’m not crazy about Canadians and their so-called canadian bacon.

two men enter, one man leaves.

naturally mel’s been advised against taking his tribe south. the u.s. state department warns that all Americans are “potential targets for kidnappers” in costa rica.

the g-caste province can be a hard land. i’ve been there. twice. i almost died the first time. even now, five years later, i check my shoes for scorpions in the morning.

but that’s me, and this is mad mel we’re talking about. he’ll be just fine. i mean really, what are a few scorpions, venomous snakes, and kidnappers to the man who crushed master-blaster in the thunderdome?

on the net - hollywood.com

Written by: Cojito Copyright © 2012 · All Rights Reserved · Panama After Dark