al gore won the Nobel prize yesterday. i admit i didn’t see that coming. i had cast my vote for Jenna Jameson. really, who’s done more for the world than jenna?
still, if she was tied up, or on a shoot, then al’s a decent pick. i haven’t seen his flick, “an inconvenient truth”, but it sounds plenty kinky.
i’m happy for al. no doubt George bush is feeling a bit owned this morning. still, that’s no reason to rejoice. the polar ice cap’s melting ahead of schedule. and if you’re a member of panama’s ruling elite that bit of news should burn your salchicha faster than Georgie could veto the Kyoto Protocol.
it’s not just that the world’s getting hotter, scientists, praised for their “meticulous scientific work,” say emissions from fossil fuels have caused humidity to increase by 2.2 per cent. that’s right, like the floor of a busy porn theater, our world’s getting stickier.
ok, 2.2 per cent doesn’t sound like all that much. but what if i told you your salchicha was going to get 2.2 percent smaller, would you be happy about that?
and that’s only the tip of it. those same scientists believe humidity will increase by 12-24 per cent over the next 80 years.
hey, what do i care? i’m a survivor. i’ve got my air conditioning, ice maker, lube, and jenna dvds. just don’t cut my power, or salchicha, and i’ll be fine.
truth is, we’re still partying like its the 1969 down here. the streets of panama city are choked with environmentally unfriendly autos. hike out to amador someday and check out the foul plume rising over P-city. sniff the air lads. even with an ocean breeze the air quality sucks.
and it’s panama’s geezers who suffer the most. air conditioning? they don’t have no stinkin’ air conditioning. they bathe in after shave, buy loose-fitting guayaberas, and languish in front of tv’s waiting for their winning lottery numbers to magically appear.
human suffering and death from heat stress is only going to get worse. i guess that means even i should be careful. i turned 50 this year. already i’m finding it a challenge to move about panama city.
this week i hiked over to the hospital nacional to visit my girl friend. it’s a brisk 20 minute walk from el cangrejo. i thought i was being smart. no hassling with rush hour traffic, good exercise, etc. yet when i arrived flushed, and dripping sweat, the natives all laughed like i was a crazy man.
i suppose stickiness is one of the reasons everything takes so long in panama, and why the gringo mentality doesn’t always work. you can’t fight the weather. it will wear you down. when i first came to panama city i was much more active. but in the last 5 years i’ve learned survival in the big sticky means knowing how to stay cool.
on the net - the globe and mail | ny times | the panama news
Cojito,
Glad to hear you’ve un-glued your brain and your ass.
Your pathetic whining about the supposed “crisis” in the Panama visa thing was growing tiresome…. at least now you can whine and bitch about something worthwhile.
Okay, get to work reporting on things we Gringos want to know about - crime, prostitution and property prices.
Forget this Hemingway, Jay Gatsby shit - you’re a fucking tool and you know it. When I come down there I’m going to slap the shit out of you just for G.P.
P.S. The Kegel exercise regimen I put your sister on seems to be doing the trick.
Yours in lecherousness,
Patriccio
Comment by Patriccio — October 14, 2007 @ 6:40 am
Fun read as usual Cojito. yep…still partying like its 1999. i was stumbling around calle uruguay late last night watching the masses of youth and the not so young just trying to “get their groove on” and forget about life realities. most of us were succeeding…though i have to admit as i age (over 50 now also) i am getting more philosophical when in the cups than i used to. it used to be about tits and ass…now its arguing about who best deserves a nobel prize…gore, bush or chavez. some people down here think its chavez hands down. such are the realities of desperate third world living.
Comment by Tman — October 14, 2007 @ 2:41 pm
Damned tman, sounds like a horribly boring esxistance just because there´s snow on the roof doesn´t mean there´s no fire in the furnace. (now if you want some fun try to explain that to a panamanian that barely speaks english) Because you´re to old to cut the muatard doesn´t mean you can´t lick the jar!!!!!
Comment by fastfreddie — October 16, 2007 @ 6:06 pm
And they giggle and wiggle so cute when you do it good. Practice, practice, practice till you´re the best at what you do.
Comment by fastfreddie — October 16, 2007 @ 6:08 pm
Now freddie…i wasnt insinuating i cant get it up much any more:)…just doesnt stay up as long or as often…hehehe. but you are totally correct…learning the art of other gratifications keeps one in good stead with these latinas down here. couldnt imagine trying to go back to the dating scene in the usa. my god…even girls 20 years younger than me look and act like my mother! LOL Nah…i’m still happy here in this sometimes paradise they call panama…though i am keeping close tabs on colombia and other points south…just in case.
keep up posted on nicalandia.
Comment by Tman — October 16, 2007 @ 7:38 pm
Partying like it is 1969….. I was in Panama in 1969, only 16, when the causeway was just the causeway. Nothing was there but a small parking area filled with cars filled with friends and coolers filled of cold beverages. Life was very fulfilling back then.
Comment by vieja — October 17, 2007 @ 8:35 am
vieja - you’ve been here that long? wow. i’ve seen pics of panama city back then. it looks quite delightful. i wish i could have known that panama.
i think my ‘69 line’s a little confusing. when i wrote it i was thinking: prince 1999, and the auto industry back in 1969. you know, all those nasty emissions. but also the public’s attitudes towards the environment.
i was a little kid in ‘69. and i used to watch our neighbor, a house painter, dump petroleom, lead, and mercury-based paints and thinners into the salt water pond in front of our house. he did this everday after work.
karma’s a funny thing, he ended up with cancer and a colostomy bag. some say panama’s like that. a step back in time. and their colostomy bag is the bay of panama.
in panama people still throw crap into the streets, burn large plots of land etc. i think it takes awhile for environmental awareness to seep into the public’s consciousness.
Comment by cojito — October 17, 2007 @ 12:27 pm
cojito, I was in Panama in 1969 but left in ‘71 after high school. I returned nearly 30 years later to see the effect of all those nasty emmisions, viewing Panama City from the causeway. The ‘69 line was not confusing, just a trigger that takes me back in time. The city was not that much different if you take away all the buildings taller than El Panama. I would like to recall a bit more but as I was 16 in ‘69 and in Panama my memory is a bit foggy……
Comment by vieja — October 18, 2007 @ 10:54 am
Hello I really enjoy your site and your insightful comments. I’m 62 and since I stumbled on your site think I might retire in Panama. Can a person still teach English and make about $500 per month? Thanks.
Comment by Michael — November 16, 2007 @ 2:16 pm
Michael - yeah, i think if you can put up with those lazy-ass rabiblanco students then you can make $500 a month teaching english.
Comment by cojito — November 19, 2007 @ 6:55 pm
Cojito, whats happened to you?????
Comment by todbals — November 27, 2007 @ 3:44 pm
todbals - thanks for asking. i’m in arizona helping my momz. she’s alone, 88, and has issues.
right now i don’t have a regular internet connection. but i’ll be back in panama, online, and writing again real soon.
naisioxerloro - there’s a link to the original theme in the footer. but i tweaked the theme to make it unique.
Comment by cojito — November 28, 2007 @ 1:30 pm