2008 – Bring it on bruja

Predicions - this year the PRD will go down faster than a Dominican hooker in a $10 pushbutton, and the surprise winner of the 2009 presidential election will be supermarket king ricardo martinelli.

so says Aghata Lys, Peruvian witch. not only has Aghata declared the PRD dead in ’08. she also thinks torrijos should start wearing white shirts to promote greater peace. it may sound crazy, but Aghata may be on to something. el presidente looks smashing in a guayabera.

for those of you new to panama. the natives can be wildly superstitious. and witches, seers, and village elders influence many important decisions. it’s kinda like when Nancy Reagan was running the white house.

this is bad news for torrijos and his gang of noriegista hacks. a new year is only hours away. and aghata says if the PRD wants to improve their energy fields they’ll need to bathe in champagne and mandarin water.

that may be a waste of good champagne. if they would just follow through on plans to clean the bay, re-do the canal and casco viejo, restore the 90 day visa, eliminate corruption in the high court, and modernize the transit system, they’d have the natives dancing in the streets.

There will be plenty of dancing tonight. there’s a year-end bash over at the hotel panama. if you have an extra $75 you can join them poolside for music, food, dancing, and public drunkenness. i won’t be doing that this year, or gambling, and mixing rum into my sancocho for $65 over at the veneto, nor will i be on that $80 gringo cruise.

i briefly considered hooking up with one of the girls at el complaciente. they have an interesting selection of mostly light-skinned escorts para llevar. you know me, whether it’s wendy’s chicken sandwiches or hookers, i like them to go.

they also have a transsexual listed. she calls herself caliente (pictured on right). i can think of nothing better to succor the weary holiday spirit than a visit from a hot whore, selling her surgically altered, and hormonally enhanced body.

i almost ordered up a man whore for my girl friend. i think women get tired of the same 4 inches every day. but alex nixed those plans. we’re going with the more traditional route. we’ll be home again.

the family returns. i hear they’re already sharpening their machetes. it’s almost like they’ve never left. i’ve stocked up on booze, bought ham and pineapple cake. the girls are burning incense, and making more ron ponche. and i’m wearing a white shirt.

i can almost feel the good vibrations already.

on the net - Predicciones políticas • El complaciente

Written by: Cojito Copyright © 2012 · All Rights Reserved · Panama After Dark