OK…so this satirical piece assumes too much prior knowledge from some readers…so let me extrapolate…

Panama and Colombia have intrinsic connection in that less than 100 years ago Panama was part of greater Colombia. Then the US govt stepped in, as they often have in this century, and paid some Colombian insiders a handsome sum from the tax coffers to free the Panamanians from Colombian rule inexchange for rights to complete a canal across the isthmus of Panama. Then in 1979 Jimmy Carter gave the canal to the Panamanians while still guarenteeing American “rights” to protect its strategic interests in the canal. Good return on investment on your american tax dollars? good question.

now in the past 2 plus decades our american tax dollars have been spent by the billions to fight a losing war on drugs in colombia…with the motivation apparently being to protect us gringo victims from our uncontrollable drug habits (sniff sniff). Of course this has somehow involved us in the ongoing semi civil war in colombia with the farc guerillas et al. So much so that the US embassy in Bogota issued this travel warning for americans 3 days ago. https://www.osac.gov/Reports/report.cfm?contentID=77891

now…since a number of my gringo friends have fallen in lust love in Medellin and a couple other cities…they are quite upset at our government’s meddling creating all this danger for maintaining the support line of these poor but fine colombian ladies. perhaps now you can better see the reason for our humanitarian mission in keeping the flow of dollars going to these girls instead of to the cartels…or the cartels bank accounts in maimi, panama, mexico and costa rica. it truly is a good cause.