fresh details emerged today regarding the identity of an alleged killer, with a smithsonian botanist claiming the accused murderer is probably the infamous Cocos nucifera.

so far police are not sure if robbery, revenge or jealousy was the motive in the brutal killing. “well, only one branch was used to take him out. so, it could have been a professional hit,” said an official on the scene.

legal expert and mayoral canditate dr miguel antonio bernal, would not confirm or deny that he’s been asked to take the case. “i can’t say anything until this gets to trial. call me in two or three years.”

friends say they have no idea why cocos would have lashed out like that, “it’s completely out of character.”

but cocos’ myspace page, which chronicles his life from abandoned sapling to natural grown killer, provides a possible motive for the attack.

“for a time i tolerated the little men who climb me and cut at my nuts. no more. i just want to be left alone to enjoy what little time i have left in panama’s sunshine, humidity, and ample rainfall,” cocos wrote.

visitors to the myspace page have increased exponentially since the story broke, leaving behind comments like “run cocos run,” “i love you cocos,” “thanks for adding me to your friend list,” and “bitch, i’m going to cut you up and use you to re-thatch my roof.”

today, outside panama’s seldom used halls of justice, the accused killer, watched over by a group of angry cholos brandishing machete’s, spoke briefly with reporters.

“i don’t want to be thought of as a monster,” cocos said, before being led away to la joya in chains.

no one keeps track of how many people are brutally attacked and killed by the dangerous flora of panama. but with so many tropical trees lurking about it appears many natives have developed a fatalistic attitude towards life: drinking excessive amounts of rum, having unprotected sex, and not showing up for work.

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