In the morning I was awakened by a sound outside the bohio. The rain had slowed to a drizzle by then. The parrots were just beginning to wake. Sunlight filtered through holes in the curtains streaking the room.
I stumbled naked from the bed and peered through the metal security gate. It was Alejandra, dripping and shivering in the cool air. I unlocked the door and tossed her a towel.
She dried her hair and stripped off her wet clothes. Then we both fell into bed. We were holding each other, watching TV, the noise of the ocean muffled by a Spanish infomercial, when I said:
“Look, I’m not sure I can stay.”
“But … but I stood up in Manolos, in front of all my family and friends, and I tell them you come back for me.”
“You did? I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have … I mean, we’ve been though this, Nothing’s changed.”
“But I love you.” She took my head in her small hands and kissed me. I wanted to believe, I really did.
I could feel her pulse quicken. She started moaning and nibbling on my lips. She undid the clasp on her bra. Her tiny breasts looked as if they’d been worked over by wolverines.
“Yes. My friend angry with me,” she said. “I tell him you come back. I tell him I still love you. He say, I his. He say, I work for him. Baby, I cum hard when I cheat on you.”
“Cheat on me?”
Alejandra reached over and gripped my cock.”Baby, he make me cum three times.”
I don’t know if she understood what she was doing. But I’ve always been ridiculously susceptible to this kind of sexual manipulation. ”Tell me,” I said, trying not to appear too eager, “might make for a good story.”
“Ok. I tell -but no names.” Alejandra climbed onto my lap. She leaned in, and started whispering in my ear, describing all the sick things he’d done to her.
Her dark eyes glittered as she rode me. She seemed turned-on by what he’d done, excited she finally had someone to share it with. She nearly tore my bottom lip off when she came.
Later, we drank expresso on the patio, listening to the birds, and watching the surfers hit the beach. The rain had stopped by then. The sun was up.
I told Alejandra what I thought was the truth, that I didn’t think I could give her what she wanted. She shook her head and looked away. I felt bad for her. I felt bad for us both.
She didn’t want me to go home. She might have loved me. Hell, I might even have loved her. But I knew what would happen. It would end badly. And it would cost. It always does.
At the door she stopped and hugged me. We held on for several minutes. She felt good in my arms. When she pulled away her face was serious again. There was a trail of moisture on one cheek.
“I see my friend again tonight,” she said.
I didn’t say anything to that. We just stood there looking at each other. She dropped her eyes, as if she’d suffered one too many defeats. Then, in a voice that was both unsure and brave, she said:
“Will you still be here when I get back?”
I reached out and stroked her hair. Our eyes met. I felt that spark again. And fear. I pushed her against the wall and kissed her. Alejandra moaned, loudly. Fuck, what choice did I have really?
I told her I’d be waiting.
-Cojito @ Panama After Dark.