The tranquility of Bastimentos, a small island just off Bocas del Toro, was shattered Friday with news that Bruce Crosby AKA “that crazy white man” had died in his island home. Crosby, known locally for giving cookies to young boys, and infamous internationally, for his website advertising the “Minor miracle,” died of an apparent suicide.
Video of his fat, bloated, and very naked corpse appears to show that he suffocated in his bathroom. Don’t look for Crosby’s beloved “magic boys” this week. Most likely they’re in mourning. Or huddled around a stolen Game Cube eating the last of Crosby’s Doritos.
I first looked up Crosby after a Noriegaville News (now called Bananama Republic) report. I read Crosby’s little essays on life in Bastimentos, about the “Minor Miracle,” and I read about his “magic boys,” the cadre of children who apparently ministered to his every need.
Crosby, was an educated, 59 yr old man living an easy life in the tropics. He was writing the great American novel. He’d found his fountain of youth. Every day he drank the Minor Miracle Grind. Herbs mixed up by a local man named Minor. “Minor”, Crosby wrote in his journal, had even perfected the grind so that it “dissolved faster.”
Surely a miraculous, fast acting tonic, that fights cancer, improves mental function, lowers cholesterol, and in Crosby’s words “put fresh lead in my pencil,” would also ward off depression, and impure thoughts. Surely Crosby’s worry-free life filled with so many miracles, and so much magic, could not possibly end so soon.
Did those weasels over at Noriegaville dim Crosby’s brilliant light? Perhaps. Read one too many negative Noriegaville columns and you may find yourself jumping from the Puente de las Americas. What about the cops, who disrupted Crosby’s perpetual slumber party, and seized his beloved laptop? Are they part of a rush to judgment?
For once it seems that they were just doing their jobs. Unless police find kiddie porn on Crosby’s computer, or one of the “Magic Boys” speaks up we may never know the truth. It’s possible this has all been a horrible misunderstanding. What is known for sure is that his website was selling something. The “Minor Miracle”?
Hmm, maybe not. I don’t know about you, but I don’t put up pics of young boys and entitle them “come and get it” if I’m selling herbal remedies. I do that if I’ve got something more sinister in mind. For “three thousand dollars”, Crosby wrote, ” Minor can arrange most anything that you might want in the way of entertainment all you have to do is ask for it.”
Ask all you want. If you’ve ever been to the sleepy town of Bastimentos you know there’s nothing in the way of entertainment. Nothing. Certainly nothing legal (and that includes prostitution) in Bastimentos is worth three thousand dollars.
“But please” he explains, as if anticipating my confusion, “have enough common sense to wait until you’re down here before you start asking for things that George or any of his friends in high places might find objectionable.” Indeed. The same could be said about attaching your name to sites featuring teaser shots of young boys.
Was Bruce Crosby a pedophile hiding out in paradise? Or was he only trying to profit from pedophiles vacationing in paradise? After reading his long and confused story (now removed from the web), I can honestly say I don’t know. It’s quite possible he was just a lonely old man who liked sleeping with children.
But consider his words: “So far every single boy-night has been spent at my home, only one boy-night has NOT been spent in my bedroom, and nearly half of all boy-nights have been spent in my bed!” The emphasis is all Crosby. The words could have been Michael Jackson’s.
In the end it looks like Bruce Crosby’s story is that of a man who lumbered too far into Barstimentos’ heart of darkness. “I found myself seeing things and doing things that I was pretty damn sure most Gringos never see or do,” Crosby wrote.
Oh Bruce – the horror, the horror.
-Cojito @ Panama After Dark.