the hard way

“hola senor lindo.”

that’s what women call out to me from the streets of panama city. has a nice ring to it – don’t you think? my girlfriend always snickers whenever she hears that. and yeah, i know it’s not sincere. these women are only trying to sell me something, or even better, sell themselves. but it’s still fun to hear.

tonight however, i’m not in the buying mood. i dismiss the [tag]kuna[/tag] babe with an imperious wave, as if i was el presidente touring the slums of curundu. i’m tired and pissed. i’m not interested in mola art, nor up for friendly street banter. i’ve just hiked the slippery steets from punta patilla, clutching a gift wrapped toaster oven. i’d guess it’s a 20 minute walk from [tag]patilla[/tag] to [tag]cangrejo[/tag]. i make it all the time. but tonight i really wanted an easy glide in the back of a taxi.

lord knows, i don’t need another kitchen appliance. this one’s for my girlfriend’s mom. tomorrow’s mothers day. and [tag]mothers day[/tag] is actually an important holiday in panama. you can’t get away with avoidance and denial here. in [tag]panama[/tag] most folks love, or at the very least, fear their mama.

psychologists say that giving to others makes us feel better about ourselves. but i gotta tell ya, all i feel is annoyed. sure, i’m happy i can make moms struggle a little easier. but here’s the ugly truth, mom is one of the [tag]jubliados[/tag] blockading the [tag]Transistmica[/tag], responsible for the ongoing gridlock, and the partially the reason i can’t catch a cab.

the light rain continues to fall, making the [tag]christmas lights[/tag] glisten in the early darkness. and though its cool and breezy, i’m sweating. i fight my way through traffic. i can’t help fantasize i’m at the wheel of a car crashing through the jubliado barrier. i can almost hear their calcium deprived bones snap with a satisfying crunch.

its not that i don’t want them to get the $30 bump. i think we all want that. my girlfriend’s mom (a diabetic) survives on $100 a month. with another $30 she could buy her own damn toaster oven. it’s just that i think there are better ways of making the point. why piss off the whole city?

every time someone has a problem in panama city they blockade the streets. and the streets already have enough problems. flaming buses, tranque, street thugs, beggars, and taxis magivered with chewing gum, and bailing wire. the last taxi i was in had a smashed windshield featuring the indentation of someone’s buttocks.

el presidente is making noises about addressing these problems; getting rid of dangerous drivers, unsafe buses, even painting the taxis yellow. good ideas. but i ask several taxi drivers about this and they all say about the same thing.

“yo no voy a pintar me taxi”

of course. they can’t afford to fix the shattered windshield, the squealing brakes, or the broken air conditioner much less re-paint. they’ve only got enough cash for several dozen christmas tree air fresheners, a cool racing style steering wheel, and a high end cd player.

i slog onward across via espania. and although there are literally hundreds of stranded travelers waiting for a bus or taxi, a large man accosts me in front of micky d’s.

“taxi senor?”

i look over at the all the tired souls lining the streets, then back at him. he doesn’t blink. it’s as if they don’t exist.

“no, me gusta caminar” i say.

it’s true, i do like walking. but i really don’t trust taxi drivers who lie in wait for the squinting, white faces that emerge from the hotel panama. a guy who sits around for hours ignoring potential fares isn’t going to be happy making $1.50 for a ride to patilla.

i’m almost home anyway. fuck ‘em. fuck the viejitos in the streets, fuck the gang of university thugs who throw rocks at cars who dare run the [tag]blockade[/tag]. and fuck my girlfriend. i told her we should pick this up last week. oh no, she wanted to wait.

“manana, senor lindo” she said with a smirk.

damn, why does everything have to be done the hard way in panama? i’m senor lindo. i don’t need this shit.

Written by: Cojito Copyright © 2012 · All Rights Reserved · Panama After Dark