Local News
From The Heart
TO THE COMMITTEE TO ELECT BALBINA HERRERA: I would like to write for, and assist Balbina’s campaign for president of Panama. Who am I? Think of me as a pot smoking Karl Rove, but with a bigger penis and better music collection. I’m not cheap. I’m American. So I’ll need a starting salary of at [...]
it wouldn’t be fair
so america’s real estate bubble has burst, the dollar’s getting its ass kicked, fear has gripped Wall street, Americans are drowning in debt, and tapping their retirement savings to remain solvent. what to do? many are betting on Panama. dial up any travel website, or Pick up any magazine for retirees and you’ll find an [...]
you only sweat twice
producers of the latest james bond flick are off to a rough start. first they decided to film much of the movie in panama. then they turned down my killer titles “live and let’s have another abuelo,” and “the spy who loved sancocho.” instead they opted for the much less catchy “quantum of solace.”
the peoples very annoyed
as some of you may know, I’m out of town (re: in hiding after an unfortunate encounter with a horny donkey). there’s no way I can report authentically on the rioting and fear that’s gripped Panama. so one of our interns, Alex, a native, and part time sex worker, has filed this report from the [...]
27 hours of hot lovin’
it’s not barbecued cuy, but I love the arroz frito over at Manolos. still, i don’t like that the staff allows street people to come inside and grift me when i’m eating. This morning i wave off the usual suspects before a young boy stops in. when it comes to street urchins I’m a soft [...]
