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Getting Married in Panama

“Getting married in Panama is easy”

That seems to be the consensus of websites topping my “how to get married in Panama” interweb search. Some of them temper the “easy” bit by adding, “provided you have all the necessary paperwork and follow the correct procedures.”

of course that’s like saying swimming lake gatun is easy, provided you’ve read up on crocodiles, and can swim really fast.

except for finding corrupt officials, growing pineapples, or getting hit by a killer bus, nothing is easy in panama. say you really are foolish enough to get married. and you’ve come all this way to meet the love of your life: a simple chola with dirty feet and scary sex drive.


tica girl

this is a happy time for you. you’ve got your script for blue pills, paid off her burro, bought her mama new teeth. you’ve even remembered to bring certified and stamped court documents of your birth and divorce. now all you need is a judge or priest to say a few meaningless words at your funeral blessed union and you’re ready to pound wally pound.

not so fast pendejo. read more»

UPDATE: It appears our contact page was non-operational for almost a year. Thanks to the upgrade the problem's been fixed. Now you can feel certain your emails are ignored rather than lost.

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Filed under: Cheat Sheet - facts and tips, Sex and Love15 Comments

 

the panama cheat sheet

this is intended to be a quick reference for first time visitors.

is it safe? - here’s the u.s government website for travel warnings, visa, and passport info

departure - there’s a pant-load of cheap flights into panama city. but if you really want cheap, and you’re planning to stay longer than three months, you’ve got a problem. a $400-$600 round trip ticket jumps to over $1000 - $1200 if you want to hang in panama longer than 90 days. read more»

Filed under: Cheat Sheet - facts and tips8 Comments



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