i´m in san jose costa rica renewing my visa. i tried to log on, and post some of my wildly entertaining experiences last night. but the hotel computer room was filled with giggling frat boys writing their girlfriends.

dear susie,

you should see the peasants here. fuck, they´re ugly. lol

i could forgive them if they were busy banging hookers. at this time last year i had already enjoyed the sounds of two call girls moaning in the next room. this year nothing. just room after room of sleepy gringos.

this computer´s crashed twice already. it´s a hyundai. nothing but the best for visitors to costa rica. the fuckin keyboard is in some strange language. french maybe. you need to hit three keys simultaneously, then chant over a dead Nicaraguan to make a question mark appear. no spell check either. all this for $2 an hour. i might as well be living in the dark ages.

i´ll be staying at the dunn inn for a week. i´m going to make the rounds, maybe enter a no limit holdem tournament. alex says it´s ok if i pick up some whores. i´m too poor for that. whoring in san jose is not cheap. but if i can find a decent computer i´ll write something up.

update! half brother raul writes: repeat after me, i am not a peasant, i will not live like a peasant!

in light raul´s sage advice, i will rethink picking up a hooker while i´m in costa rica.

breaking news!

panama city panama - citizens already reeling from the tragic fires in curundu, the uptick in gang violence, record breaking coke shipments, pedophiles, scam artists, and illegal immigrants, learned today that yet another vile monster could be lurking in tropical paradise.

cojito, editor and writer of panama after hours, is suspected of using an assumed name to write insipid articles, hide from authorities, and a pregnant boston brahman.

“cojito’s a second-rate hack who’s running from the law,” an angry patriccio wrote, “my guess is he knocked up some girl from boston who’s from a prominent family.”

news of patriccio’s accusations quickly spread, and condemnation was swift.

“second rate hack? sure. but the thought that he might have a child somewhere is simply appalling.” said cojito’s mom.

“isn’t he still dating that panamanian ladyboy?” said cojito’s half brother raul.

“i’m surprised to hear he can get it up. if you talk to him, tell him he owes me money.” said ex-wife kim.

“we won’t let him near children, animals, or clowns,” said longtime reader marco.

“i first to meet cojito on the streets of central,” replied alex, cojito’s longtime girlfriend. “it was many years ago during carnival. right away i noticed his blond hair, and that his pants were down around his ankles. i had just lost my job, and needed money. he was drunk. so we looked for his wallet together.”

“he was very generous. but even the many hours of cunnilingus in a leaky cayuco off bocas del toro, the gentle way he to hold my hair as i suck his dick, or that he to always leave $50 on dresser when we to finish, could not make up for his writing. it be bad. very bad.”

“still, i no think he has the kid. he shoot blanks with me.”

update! young reader writes - cojito, are you my papa?

panama city panama - quaint north american notions of winter and summer have little meaning in equatorial regions. oh sure, the seasons change, but the tropical heat and humidity hangs around like an out of work brother in law.

hot weather’s not a major issue for most of us. the typical traveler can drink mojitos by the pool, swim in the ocean, or retreat into an air conditioned hotel room and raid the mini bar. but for tropical sex workers the heat can pose some unique challenges. read more»