panama sex is cheap. the girls are giving it away. but calling your panamanian girlfriend from the u.s can be expensive. the following is a real conversation i had with the phone company after a month of phone sex with my girlfriend. read more»

guatemala city - the associated press is reporting mayan priests are getting ready to purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate the “bad spirits” left behind by president bush.

“No, Mr Bush, you cannot trample and degrade the memory of our ancestors,” indigenous leader Rodolfo Pocop said, adding, “This is not your ranch in Texas.”

it’s understandable. have you seen the president’s ranch? bullshit everywhere.

the decider’s fouled just about everything he’s touched. and the mayans, regarded as the creators of the first calendar and hieroglyphic writing in the western hemisphere, are known to have refined tastes.

there’s no word when the mayans will begin the purification ceremony. but anyone willing to have their still-beating heart torn from their chest should contact Rodolfo Pocop

apparently, we were all invited to a big fight last saturday at potros bar. forget roberto duran, this brawl featured panama’s new generation of maulers.

if i’d noticed this flyer earlier, i might have put some money down on that fierce-looking colombian. she’s the one of the left, putting her lesbian lover in a submission hold. rumor is, they’re former farc guerillas.

the flyer says these fights were “en aceite”. i sure hope these girls used aceite de oliva. you can’t be too careful with bad cholesterol these days.

what’s handy about potros, and the club formerly called “life girls” on the other side of via espania, is that they’re conveniently located near supermercado reys. theoretically you could spend the evening drinking with oily women, and then pick up some low fat yogurt, tampons, and fresh pineapple on your way home to the wife and kids.