last weekend, while i was sipping abuelo, and awaiting final judgment on my balcony, alex returned to her family in arrijan to celebrate semana santa (easter week). traditionally, all work stops at this time of year. panama city becomes a ghost town. churches fill up with the faithful. there are even painful reenactments of christ’s crucifixion in the streets. almost everyone returns home to commune with their families, feast, and chat with someone called dios.

i don’t know what this dios character said to alex, but when she finally came back, she was proudly carrying a large container of chicheme. she said she picked it up for me in chorrera, at el chimchemito, a fonda (small store) that’s locally famous for selling comidas tipico (native dishes).

never heard of chicheme? chicheme’s a beverage made by pounding, and then soaking maize (corn) overnight. then it’s cooked until soft. boiled milk is added. the mixture’s allowed to cool, and finally, vanilla, cinnamon, honey, or cane sugar are thrown in.

chicheme a lumpy drink. it has the same consistency of cold corn chowder. that might seem off putting. it was for me. but then i asked myself - what would jesus do? he try it of course. you should too. it won’t resurrect the dead, but i assure you, it tastes fantastic. chicheme’s a meal in a glass. and it costs only 75 cents.

bonus tip - i think i’ve created a new drink. i’ve discovered chicheme’s good with a little rum added. i think i’ll call it the cojito. and it’s just the thing after you’ve spent a hot day watching jesus get flogged in the streets. just remember to stock up on booze before the stores close for semana santa.

the tv news in panama is warning people to avoid prolonged exposure to the sun this week. they issue this same advisory every year (april 9-15th), because every spring the sun lines up over panama, exposing us all to a more direct blast of the sun’s ultraviolet rays.

you wouldn’t know it by looking out the window today; it’s overcast and cool. since i got back to Panama city, the weather’s been in the 70’s and 80’s, the rains of spring have returned, and the tree across the street has begun to flower again.

cojito - I’ve researched Panama as well as I know how and what you’ve said here in your pages is mostly truth with a lot of bullshit and sex mixed in (no insult intended). Thru the internet I began writing a sexy woman who’s involved with the study for the widening of the canal. We wrote back and forth for awhile and she decided to take it to another level .

She tells me Panama’s an expensive place to live. I get $785 per month give or take a buck or two. Is that enough for me to live modestly there? I don’t need a big apartment, and I don’t intend to have a car. I’m asking you because you don’t seem to be the type to add or subtract from the truth.

dear esteemed reader,

i have one rule for living. never never trust any woman who wants to widen the panama canal. my friend, bigger isn’t always better. you dodged a bullet on that one. there’s just no living with a size queen.

yeah - i write about sex. the women of panama are passionate and beautiful. any site not talking about sex in panama is not giving you the full story. this is no news site. and i’m no journalist.

but, let me assure everyone, i’m not posting bullshit. the articles and stories on this site are true. they really happen. oh sure, names get changed to protect privacy. yes, for the sake of a laugh, things get wildly exaggerated. but beneath the veneer there’s an effort to be honest about life in panama.

so, can you live on $785 a month? if you’ve read the hype on other sites, you might think that $785 is enough to pay for food, rent, rum, a maid, viagra, and still have enough left over for hookers. you know what? you might be able to pull it off.

really, it depends on how, and where you want to live. do you want to live like a gringo or a native? i spend much less living in panama than i did in the U.S. not only is panama cheaper than the u.s, it’s cheaper than Costa Rica. but if you really want cheap, go to nicaragua.

if i remember correctly, Eric Jackson, writer/editor of the panama news, wrote (in the panama forum) that he was living in Panama City on about $800 a month. i’m in Panama City too. my budget’s about $1000 - $1200 a month.

my monthly expenses include: maintenance fee $100 (trash, water, gas, insurance), electric bill $45, cable and high speed wireless $80, groceries $600 (my girlfriend has a family that visits). health insurance starts at about $150 pp, cell phone $30 - $40.

these cost of living expenses do not include flying to the U.S. every year, or road trips to Costa Rica to renew my visa*, the money i’m spending on my girlfriend’s medical problems, or the cost of stocking my bar with good rum.

in panama food’s cheap. gringo food’s more expensive. you can find rentals for $100 a month. you can find rentals for $1200 a month. just depends on what part of panama you want to live in. i live in middle class el cangrejo. i don’t have a car. although i’d like to have the use of a car to explore the interior. i walk, take the bus, or ride the taxi. they’re all cheap.

if i was living alone, i could live on less. but i didn’t come all this way to live alone. the women of panama are amazing. alex and i live cheaper together in panama city than i could alone and divorced back in the states. and what price do you put on happiness?

outside panama city, the cost of living is even cheaper. you could live on $785 a month easy. especially if you were living with a family. many live on much less. that’s crazy money for some.

just remember, these natives are living very simply. they eat plantains and milk monkeys. they’re living out in the middle of nowhere. they have outhouses, cold showers, no air conditioning, fridge, or cable/internet. most don’t have a car. they ride a chiva into town for shopping. and if they have grave medical problems they’re not likely to get help fast.

i prefer the city. i’m a sucker for a good high speed internet connection. but it’s more of a challenge to live cheaply here. still, i’d be thrilled if i had an automatic $785 rolling in every month. because i know i can make another $500 - $1000 a month playing poker online.

i think the biggest challenge is making money in a country where you’re not allowed to work. in that regard you’re off to a good start. if i were you i’d look for ways to add to that income. sure, you can live on it. but a few hundred dollars more a month would be better.

i was going to suggest you become a man-whore. but teaching’s another way to go. people tell me the most profitable way to teach english is from your own home or apartment. put an ad in the paper and teach a few students at a time. you could easily add another $500 to your income doing that part time.

if you have medical issues you should be sure your medical coverage extends to Panama. this is the third world. social services are lacking. you’ll need to have some savings to get you started, or better, have enough savings to buy a modest flat. and be honest with yourself, how do you want to live, what kind of services you need? and will you really need all that viagra?

*sounds like you’d qualify for a pensionado visa. so you wouldn’t need to flee the country to costa rica every four and a half months.