People are always emailing us asking: Where’s Cojito? Why is he such a fucking recluse?
These are excellent questions. And I could tell you that I’m still out there, still raiding the brothels of Central America, still gamely searching for a bendy woman to wrangle the freakishly large Cojito penis. But I can’t. Because it would be a lie. And not my first.
The truth? I’m not a whore-monger, or guide, or an expert at anything really. Nor am I particularly well-endowed. To be honest, it’s hard to imagine how I could satisfy a woman. Any woman. Even an extremely horny lady-boy
So, to answer your questions, I figure Cojito’s a recluse because I’ve got a lot to hide. Surprised? What did you expect? I’m a writer. At least that’s what I keep telling everyone. And while my work is based on real people, events, and places, most of it qualifies as fiction. The kind of fiction enjoyed by perverts, addicts, and the criminally insane.
So if that’s not you, I apologize. And for the record, I’m an enthusiastic lover of the Panamanian people, Panama Beer, and of course, Panama Red. I look forward to enjoying them again someday.
– The original Who We? page.